The Art of Stepping Back: Why Your Best Decisions Happen Away From Your Desk

As I mentioned in my last post, ideas that resonate with you can come from anywhere, and in this case, it came from a conversation with my uncle who used to say, "let the boys in the back room work on it." What he meant was giving your subconscious time to process problems—a practice that has consistently worked for me, especially with complex issues.

In our hyper-connected world where immediate responses are expected and "always-on" productivity is praised, we've forgotten one of the most powerful decision-making tools we have: stepping away.

The Back Room Boys

My uncle's phrase about "the boys in the back room" has stuck with me for years. It's his way of describing what neuroscience now confirms—that our subconscious mind continues working on problems long after our conscious mind has moved on. While we sleep, walk, or engage in completely unrelated activities, our brain is making connections, processing information, and often arriving at solutions we couldn't force through conscious effort.

This isn't just uncle wisdom. It's a fundamental part of how our minds work best.

The Distance Advantage

Creating distance from a problem serves a dual purpose. First, it helps us detach emotionally from the situation. When we're in the thick of a complex issue, we're often overwhelmed by various factors, personalities, and pressures that cloud our judgment. Distance provides clarity.

Second, it allows for "perspective shifting." In meetings, I've noticed how often someone offers a completely different way of looking at an issue. My initial instinct might be to resist this reframing, but I've learned that these moments often provide the holistic understanding needed to find real solutions.

The Two-Speed Decision Framework

Shane Parrish, in his book on decision-making, presents a compelling framework that distinguishes between two approaches: immediate reaction and deliberate reflection. Some situations genuinely require quick decisions—the building is on fire, the site is down, the customer is waiting. But most of the decisions that really matter benefit from "minimum reflection."

The key is recognizing which type of decision you're facing. For major choices that will impact your product, your team, or your future, taking time isn't just beneficial—it's essential.

Minimum Viable Reflection

Even when time is limited, there's a minimum threshold for effective decision-making. At the very least, I've found it beneficial to rest—sleep on it, take a walk, or simply step away from my desk. This might not always be optimal, but it's the minimum necessary for decisions that matter.

Walking away from your desk is more than just a break; it's a strategic tool. Writing out scenarios, talking through problems with someone outside the situation, or even just letting your mind wander can provide the full scope perspective that's impossible to achieve while staring at the same screen or sitting in the same room.

Building Systems for Better Decisions

As product leaders and developers, we're constantly building systems to solve problems efficiently. But we often forget to apply that same systematic thinking to our own decision-making process.

Consider building your own decision-making system:

Recognize decision types: Is this immediate or deliberate?
Create space: Physically and mentally step away from the problem
Seek reframing: Actively look for different perspectives
Trust the process: Let your subconscious work

The Paradox of Slowing Down

In a world that demands speed, taking time to make better decisions actually makes you faster in the long run. The wrong decision made quickly often leads to weeks or months of cleanup, pivots, and course corrections. Unfortunately this is something I needed a reminder on. The right decision made thoughtfully, even if it takes a day longer, can save you from those costly detours.

Your best decisions aren't happening at your desk under pressure. They're happening in the shower, on walks, during conversations with people who see things differently, and yes, while you sleep.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is step away and let the boys in the back room work on it.